Who's Checking In? How Gene Hackman's Death Exposes The Growing Crisis of Isolation.
- Devin Almonte
- Mar 31
- 5 min read
Updated: Apr 7
If someone as famous as Gene Hackman could go unnoticed, what does that mean for the rest of us?
FOR TWO WEEKS their absence went unnoticed. Perhaps the mail piled up in the mailbox. Maybe unanswered calls went to voicemail. Small signs that something was wrong. But no one checked. Inside, the bodies of Hollywood legend Gene Hackman and his wife, Betsy Arakawa, remained alone and undiscovered for two weeks.
NO ONE NOTICED.
Two-time Academy Award winner. A household name for decades. Seen by millions. And in his final days, there was no one checking in.
If someone as famous and financially secure as Gene Hackman could go unnoticed for weeks, what does that say about the rest of us?
This growing failure to notice is a symptom of a modern world where “checker-inners” are disappearing: the people who notice when something is off and check in before it’s too late.
But it doesn’t have to be this way.
Hackman was 95 years old. His wife, Betsy, had been his primary caregiver, looking after him as he battled Alzheimer’s and heart disease. When she suddenly passed in early February from a rare disease, commonly spread by rats, it’s possible that Hackman, lost in the fog of dementia, never even realized she was gone.
About a week later, he died too.
STILL, NO ONE NOTICED.
It wasn’t until a longtime maintenance worker, sensing something was off, called for a welfare check at the couple’s New Mexico home, where they had lived for more than 30 years. When police arrived, they found both Hackman and Arakawa lifeless, with one of their beloved German Shepherds keeping guard over her body.
As police investigated and the world searched for answers, a larger question remained: Where was everyone?
Hackman had children. He had wealth. He had fame. Yet beyond him and his wife, was there truly no one looking out for them? In their final days, not a single person noticed they were missing. At least not in a reasonable timeframe.
TWO WEEKS IS UNTHINKABLE.
ISN’T IT?
For generations, communities were built around connection. Neighbors knew each other. People looked out for one another, but now the world has made isolation easy.
HUMAN CONNECTION IS OPTIONAL.
Garage doors open with a press of a button, ushering us inside before we ever have to make eye contact with a neighbor. Groceries and meals arrive at our doorstep via smartphone apps. No conversation required.
We blame busyness, technology, and a world that values independence—often at the expense of community. Shared spaces are disappearing. Coffee shops have turned into silent workstations, filled with people wearing headphones and staring at screens. Churches are seeing declining attendance.
This unraveling of our social fabric is isolating millions across all generations. We say we want connection. But we’ve stripped away the very opportunities that create it, often leaving ourselves cut off in ways we don’t even realize.
One can be isolated without feeling lonely, and lonely without being physically isolated. But more often than not, the two go hand in hand. And the consequences are far-reaching.
According to several studies funded by the National Institute on Aging, feeling lonely increases the risk of dementia by 31%. Some research equates its impact on health to smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
“Loneliness and isolation don’t just diminish one’s quality of life, it devours life itself. It prowls around, seeking to leave people completely alone, hopeless, and forgotten—in death itself.”
Take Lena Brown. A widow living a financially stable life in a California suburb. She wasn’t poor. She wasn’t alone on the streets. She had extended family who helped her transition into a nursing home. Yet when she passed away, no one answered the calls. No one claimed her remains.
Local officials cremated her and buried her in a mass grave alongside 1,500 other unclaimed bodies.
The exact figures are difficult to track, but estimates suggest that 2% to 4% of all U.S. deaths go unclaimed each year, according to researchers Pamela Prickett and Stefan Timmermans. Picture a high school auditorium with 1,000 seats—20 to 40 of those seats represent people who will die this year with no one to claim them. Multiply that across thousands of communities and the reality is staggering.
“This isn’t just a crisis of the poor, the homeless, or the drug-addicted unknowns. It’s about a society that no longer checks in. It's about a society that no longer puts people at the center of community."
From the beginning, God declared, “It is not good for man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18).
This truth extends beyond marriage. It applies to all relationships, including the church.
As 1 Corinthians 12:27 tells us: “Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.”
Megan Hill, managing editor for The Gospel Coalition, puts it this way:
“In biblical terms, the people in the pews around us are our family. Like the members of our biological family, we haven’t chosen them for ourselves, but they have been chosen for us, and we are therefore inseparably bound to them. Because we belong to Christ, we belong to His family.”
But as people drift away from real, authentic communities, they turn to counterfeit substitutes: social media “families,” toxic online echo chambers, and numbing distractions that offer a temporary escape but never truly fill the void.
So, what can we do?
We must reclaim the lost art of checking in.
Pay Attention. Small details matter. A trash bin left out longer than usual. A church member who suddenly stops showing up. These could be small signs that something might be wrong.
Prioritize Connection. Engage with the people around us: neighbors, friends, coworkers, fellow church members. Be intentional. Be present. Be interruptible. Checking in requires margin in our lives, the willingness to pause and notice.
Speak Up. If something feels off, don’t dismiss it. Don’t assume someone else will check in. A simple phone call, a text, even a knock on the door can be the difference between life and death.
THE WORLD NEEDS CHECKER-INNERS.
“Checking in is more than an act of kindness. It’s a call to obedience. A chance to serve, to love, and to live out our faith in tangible ways.”
Even in the early church, the call to look out for one another was foundational. The Apostle Paul reminded the Philippians: “Let each of you look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others” (Philippians 2:4).
Because when we look beyond ourselves and check in on others, that’s when the whole body of Christ begins to flourish.
Don’t assume. Don’t wait. Don’t turn away.
Check in.
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